No pressure, but uh, well there IS pressure in that entire region, due to your head and where it is crammed... and frankly, it's getting pretty uncomfortable carrying you around. And I'm tired...Between you making me pee every hour or so, the heartburn getting unbelievably worse and your dad's violent and noisy sleep habits, I am exhausted. I realize these are preparatory drills, I get the point. I know I won't be sleeping soundly for the foreseeable future. Can I just have a few days before the meconium hits the fan?
No? Alright, nevermind.
A Holding Pattern
I am currently 80% effaced (go ahead and google that if you need to) and at least 1 cm dilated (as of Friday) so technically I am in the early stages of labor. This includes lots of contractions and an abundance of new and interesting pelvic pains. The contractions have ceased to be cute and are now becoming serious. I have to breathe through them and find myself thinking 'wow, this whole thing is going to be really.fricking.uncomfortable'. The child is wedged comfortably at what 'they' like to call 0-station in my pelvis (see below - yeah, she's hanging out right there. Awesome.)
Although this all sounds very exciting she seems pretty comfortable riiiight where she is, as evidenced by this photo of her taken last Thursday. That does not look like a child that is eager to go anywhere... In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would say that she is wearing a little smirk. Is there a genetic predisposition for smirking??
My pregnancy-magnified neuroses have not settled down in the slightest, much to the chagrin of the poor Captain. The other night he was trying to make dinner and I decided that right at that moment is was imperative that I mop the kitchen floor.
It's a pretty hysterically insane picture I paint for you, The Captain trying to maneuver around me to fix a meal as I frantically mop the floor under his feet. Him eyeing me with concern and asking,
'You have to do this now, honey?'
'YES I HAVE TO DO THIS NOW! Oh my god, have you seen how filthy the hood over this stove is?!'
He then takes the gibbering mess that is his wife, and puts her on the couch with her feet on some cushions as she breathes heavily and with wide, mad eyes scans the living room looking for something else to clean.
Poor man, the only thing that will stop this madness, is the madness of a brand new human in our home. And I can't even guarantee it will end there.
So, the plan for the next few days is lots of spicy food, 'exercise' (wink) and trampolining (what? no?)
And check out our new 'Put The Baby To Sleep Device' (it rocks, literally and figuratively) and the beautiful quilt my Aunt Kathleen made for the bebe!
Hoping you're all well.